It’s All Uncharted…Yet Fully Charted

We’re nine days into September. Spain’s vacation ended 8 days ago. I had expected to hear back from the University of Murcia (UM) about my employment status by now.

Over the past week, doubts have started to fill my head: Did UM decide not to hire me? What if they aren’t going to award me the position after all? Am I going to live at home and substitute teach for the next ten months? How will my pride revive itself under the rubble of a broken dream…and under the embarrassment of bumming free “rent” from my parents?

Yesterday I substitute taught at Morgantown High School, where I student taught for three years and essentially became part of the faculty. Throughout the day teachers left and right were asking me, “What are you still doing here? Didn’t you graduate?” I can’t tell you how much I dreaded the question every time I ran into a former colleague.

My responses evolved from: “Well, I have a job teaching English in Spain, but it’s not official yet. I’m still waiting for them to hire me so I can get my visa. It should happen soon,” to “I have a job in Spain, but I’m waiting for my visa,” to “I have a job in Spain, and I leave next month.”

I changed my responses because every time I saw their eyes fill with doubt and question (all out of respectable concern for my future), doubt and question started to fill me.

Early Monday morning, I sent two emails to two separate professors in Murcia. No responses form either. Should I start doubting? Should I start looking for another job?

After all this transpired, I sat down this morning and prayed to God. I apologized for losing trust and asked for assistance in building it back up. I told Him I had faith that this job will pull through, and I concentrated hard on opening up my imaginary email account and seeing an email from UM. I wrapped up my prayer by shutting up my internal monologue and listening for God’s response.

As soon as I finished, I reached for my phone and checked my email. Why was I surprised when I saw an unread email from UM sitting in my inbox? The recruiter emailed me telling me that the official job posting will be up next week, and she’s preparing a letter for me so I can finally apply for my visa.

And the time stamp on this email? The exact minute I was praying.

God has it all planned out, even though I don’t see the details. That’s the way life is for me, especially now. To me, my future is uncharted…yet it’s charted down to every detail. That’s why it’s so exciting in the ambiguity yet comforting in the reassurance of it all.

So, D.C. and Consulate General of Spain (Embassy)…here I come. Just give me another week or two until I get my UM letter.